Download One Hundred Names for Love: A Stroke, a Marriage, and the Language of Healing, by Diane Ackerman
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One Hundred Names for Love: A Stroke, a Marriage, and the Language of Healing, by Diane Ackerman
Download One Hundred Names for Love: A Stroke, a Marriage, and the Language of Healing, by Diane Ackerman
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From Publishers Weekly
Two phrasemakers and longtime married partners had to relearn a shared, intimate conversation post-stroke as Ackerman narrates in her touching latest work. Paul West, Ackerman's 75-year-old British husband (she is 18 years younger), was a retired English professor and the author of 50-plus books, survivor of diabetes and a pacemaker, when he was struck by a massive stroke that left "a small wasteland" in his brain, especially in the key language areas. For literary minds like West and Ackerman, his inability to formulate language (reduced to repeating numbly the sounds "mem, mem, mem" in anger and confusion) was a shock to them both: "o be so godlike, and yet so fragile," his wife writes in despair. Her memoir of this terrible time, first in the hospital, then at home, records the small victories in his speech making and numerous frustrating setbacks; she even took it upon herself to make up humorous but challenging exercises for him to do, Mad Libs–style. Contrary to the bleak prognosis, West gradually made progress, while their journey makes for goofy, pun-happy reading, a little like overhearing lovers coo to each other. (Apr.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
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From Booklist
*Starred Review* Two wordsmiths enthralled by the glimmering pleasures of the life of the mind have lived together in literary camaraderie for decades. So when novelist, memoirist, and critic Paul West was hit with a stroke in 2005 that left his brain scorched and his body battered, both he and his wife, Diane Ackerman, a poet and the lushly original author of such seismic books as The Zookeeper’s Wife (2007), had a lot to lose. But West never succumbed to his impaired vision, frozen right hand, or, most remarkably, bewildering and silencing global aphasia; and Ackerman, who by fortuitous prescience had conducted extensive neurological research for her book An Alchemy of Mind (2004), proved to be an ideal caregiver. Writing with her signature empathy, curiosity, brilliance, and mirth, Ackerman chronicles West’s heroic battle to reclaim words and mobility and her tailoring of West’s speech therapy to match his spectacular vocabulary and unique intelligence. A master of vivid metaphors and multifaceted narratives, Ackerman candidly addresses the profound demands facing caregivers while explaining the cruel consequences of aphasia, charting West’s against-all-odds return to conversing and writing (The Shadow Factory, 2008) and marveling over the healing powers of language and intimacy. A gorgeously engrossing, affecting, sweetly funny, and mind-opening love story of crisis, determination, creativity, and repair. --Donna Seaman
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Product details
Hardcover: 336 pages
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company (April 4, 2011)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 039307241X
ISBN-13: 978-0393072419
Product Dimensions:
6.5 x 1.2 x 9.6 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.2 out of 5 stars
65 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#965,417 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I had mixed reactions to the book. On one hand, how can anyone but root for Diane and Paul, and suffer along with them as they struggled through the horror of these circumstances? I felt happy as clarity surfaced in Paul's damaged brain, and wanted to give Diane a hug during the early days when she went through her caregiver role as a zombie.Yet there were some difficulties in the book. At times, Diane overused metaphors in a way that obscured rather than clarified her points. Here's an example of overwriting, wherein she describes her mannerisms changing to accommodate Paul's limitations:"I now seemed to quarry words, one by one, presenting them like bright bits of jasper—not slurred in a wash of flurried adjectives—when I spoke to Paul. Sometimes with a flutter of agitated worry that felt like a beetle was trapped inside my ribs. But I savored the delicious warm touch-ribbons of silent affection, uniting and comforting us, even when words failed. And I followed the stew of sympathy from friends, whose faces flickered with unrefined sorrow-compassion-pity."Also, I was disappointed that Diane, while knocked back by the overwhelming load of caregiving, adapts to it somehow, yet she declines to explain those successful strategies. What a great service that would have been. Here's an example of what most of us either have gone through or will in the future:"My body also felt derelict and unlived in. Every little thing, no matter how small—putting on makeup, changing my clothes, washing my hair—seemed to add boulders to an already unbearable weight. I felt as if a spare particle would make me collapse. I kept forgetting to eat, and, anyway, the refrigerator was bare because I hadn’t the energy to shop." Like many people, I've been there. What did she do about it? How did she handle it? Not said.And: "...caregiving had its hopes and charms, but on the downside, this meant that every hour was interruptible. My days no longer contained adjoining hours in which to work. Yet I had a new book to write...So while Paul was straining mentally to reclaim language, I was straining to learn the peculiar skill of concentrating on my work in attention gulps...while keeping one ear open for signs of discord or trouble." Again, I know that feeling of interruption, and the frustration that makes one want to throw everything in the trash and say the heck with it, I'll just give up being a person and dedicate my life to caring for you. Diane struggled with this, but she doesn't say how she surmounts it.She also reveals that she's married a man who is quite a bit older than her, who was in the past given to alcoholic rages and verbal abuse. The balance of power in this relationship is striking. I say this realizing I'm commenting on the apparent nature of their relationship, which is none of my business and not the point of the book. Still, it's like an unacknowledged third protagonist.In summary, Diane Ackerman has done a good job of describing one stroke, one man, and one dedicated wife. The potential for teaching others how to deal with a similar situation remains unrealized, regrettably.
This book would probably not be for everyone, but I liked it. It is a very detailed account of how the author helped her husband find his way back, more or less, from a devastating stroke. I found her patience and upbeat spirit admirable. It is truly a story of a great love written by a great lady. She did have her challenging and discouraging moments, but seemed to always rise above them. He is a very lucky man to have her
Beautiful, moving book about the power of love and dedication. I was a physician until I was felled by a brain disorder, so this book was meaningful to me both personally and professionally. Initially I read this as a library book. It was so good, I bought it to re-read as well as copies to send to my physician friends.
My husband was one month into stroke recovery with aphasia when I found this book. I was feeling lost and frustrated and unable to let anyone know what I was really going through. Then I found that Diane Ackerman had been where I was and survived it. With each page, she shares the painful and difficult moments in her and her husband's road to recovery with intense honesty and feeling. Although every stroke is different, her insights into her husband's aphasia has given me ways to understand, cope, and work with my husband. This is a beautiful story of love and commitment. It inspired me and helped to to stay strong.
this book touched me in ways i did not expect. two wordsmiths are decimated by paul's stroke. his partial recovery of his marvelous, neologistic, brilliant wordplay is inspirational. equally compelling is ackerman's account of the weeks in the hospital, the drain of being a constant caretaker, the loss of her own work, the loss of all those words -- as i wrote to some friends when recommending this book, when i read his first word joke after this horrible stroke and double aphasia -- i cried.wow.
This was surprisingly short of emotional context which made some parts too long and almost boring. I expected to see more of the process of the 100 names for love as they appeared in real life rather than simply having a list at the end. It would have been nice if each chapter were labeled with one of the names so that more of the before and after lives could be shared but clearly that's a different book.
This book is amazing on many levels. Interesting analysis of what goes on in a person's brain and in his life during and after a stroke. Incredible testimony of support and love of the caregiver/wife. Not too rose-colored glasses - yes, it is difficult to give up yourself to care for another even when you love him. And Ackerman lets us know that.On the other hand, and even giving Diane Ackerman many many kudos for both her loving support of her husband and for her writing, it gets a little old hearing her pat herself on the back. It only became tiring for me 3/4 of the way through, so that's not too bad, I guess.I prefer to think someone is wonderful than to hear them tell me how wonderful they are...over and over.Good thinking on her part to let the reader know right up front that her husband regained much functioning. It would be just too grueling to read otherwise. As it is, even with my high recommendations, none of my friends has wanted to read this book. The subject matter may just be too threatening.Imho, extremely worth reading.
This is a very vividly written book on what the experience is like to have a loved one survive a stroke.
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